I want to thank Jason, and everyone at the Monastery again for welcoming me with such openness. I’m still amazed that I was granted this chance to see shining samples of the teachings of a course in miracles acim, and fo initially in an extended while, I do not feel alone.
Section of me wanted to remain longer, but beneath that desire was the idea that I would be this for the wrong reason; as an easy way in order to avoid my problems. The stronger feeling was, and is, that my travels will continue.
Before I left, Jason asked if I’d had any insights. What I’m about to share was not yet clear in those days; only on the drive away achieved it coalesce.
That morning, several lines from the Vance Joy song kept running through my head, “I never needs to have told you, never needs to have let you see inside. Don’t are interested troubling the mind, won’t you let it be?” This confused me as I really could not consider anything that I’d stated that I felt regret for.
Eventually, the phrase, “don’t are interested troubling your mind” stood out. This reminded me that probably the most prominent fear I’d in arriving at the Monastery was that I would somehow interfere having its residents’reassurance, by just my presence alone. This belief that I really could negatively affect other people’s state of mind has been with me for many years, and has colored lots of my past experiences and relationships.
This fear left my awareness soon after I arrived. On the drive away it rose again, but I remembered David saying in one of his true videos that minds cannot attack. I cried and laughed, and now feel as if the belief is being (has been?) released.
You can find other things that happened that felt important, but I can’t consider them right now.